Disclaimer:this is 100% fiction. This is a story about GECKO WHITE. A man who lived in deceit. One who changed his colours to disguise himself with his environment ...when and if it was beneficial to him. In his world, they said that he was 'adaptive', or 'easy going'. whereas, in fact, he was just manipulative. I've always wanted to share my fiction on a platform on which I had the artistic control. This website represents that for me. I hope that you will enjoy all the fiction that is yet to come your way. Now, without further ado, enjoy.
The Tail of the Tales
He was born right at the edge of winter, with gloom and heaviness around him. He would grow up to be a mentally burdened person, with a basic appearance, and a double-tongue. He had broad shoulders, short limbs, a broad forehead, a medium physique, and a square face. He was likable, overall.
He was ‘strange looking’. Not intentionally. Not genetically either. It was how he was born to be. A sensitive appearance born in an atmosphere of harsh energies. There were three imposing energies on him. An energy of violence, death, transformation, taboo subjects, and se*ual forces. The second energy manifested everything foreign, strange, illusionary, cunning, addictions, exaggerations, and manipulation. Lastly, he was surrounded by a force of knowledge, wisdom, teaching, religion, and foreign people. See? He was doomed to appear as strange and intense. Even among his own family, he was always the odd-one-out. The strange one. The ‘black sheep of the family, so to speak.
For many years, people thought that he chose that road. Perhaps, unconsciously he did. But the decision was not conscious. Noone would choose such a role with full consciousness. At least none of his nature. See, he also loved the public attention. He loved being admired, or worshipped should we say. But with his mental tribulations, and taboo ways, everyone would leave him …eventually.
His childhood represented a moment that he would prefer to either forget, or consciously suppress. If he was not isolated in his child, then he certainly felt like he was. He also felt an immense tension and pressure. Se*ually violated, but a story he chose never to reveal …even to himself. His childhood was a moment of self loss. Fortunately, there were moments of relief. Women often helped him; gave him a sense of protection.
He also experienced a lot of violence from teachers, and at teaching grounds. But that energy also extended to his neighbours and younger brothers. Even though he had a cordial relationship with his brothers, the relationship would always be a fluctuating one. Not because of his brothers, but due to his ever-changing mood swings. Sometimes he would be cold towards his brothers, then suddenly he would be warm again. Sometimes violent, while at times authoritative. The same treatment that he gave to his little brothers is the same that he gave to his neighbours. On and off. On and off. Emotionally exhausting and confusing.
The extreme would be at the times when he would be depressing to, or distant from, them. Even the drivers on the road were not exempted from his mood swings. Indeed he belonged to the group of road rage drivers. His self efforts did not easily materialise into any tangible achievement. Because he would start a project, then, halfway leave it for another project. Likewise, his communication was ever changing. Either him or the people around him would change the mind more often than normal. The key point around his communication was quickness, coldness, fickle-mindness, darkness, and fluctuation.
Gecko’s childhood home was spacious, with vehicles, and lots of books. Home to him was his royal place. A place where he could envision himself as a king. He saw his mother the same way that he saw his father. Or his mother tried to take a place of his father. Nonetheless, his father had the actual authority in the home. On the other side, his mother induced a lot of mental pressure on him. Contributing to his mental instabilities. There was also an ongoing conflict of personalities between his parents. Problems of authority, where both parents wanted to lead as if they were the boss of the home. The parents later divorced, which also affected his mental state. The best part was that there was a lo of communication in the home. But the communication was cold or stern. More like a communication that lacked warmth and comfort. An office-type of communication.
There were often highly educated people visiting the home, or living in the home. People with knowledge and wisdom. Perhaps, those people also helped him to find a sense of value from his life. Another thing about him is that he had a natural rebellion demeanor towards people of service. So, he needed some stable people around him. For example, he treated service people as if their service was an utmost obligation to him. Even his defiance towards security guards was totally uncalled for. Even though his behaviour was rude towards people of lower ranks, he was well-liked by the upper echelons of the society because to them, he was appeasing. He did whatever it took to appear disciplined and well-behaved to them. That’s the type of a class that he cared about. That he cared to be accepted by. A class whose opinion mattered the most to him.
His communication or actions towards his children was volatile… skewed more towards violence. He saw no value in children, as they were part of the lower class to him. Unless, if he saw a way from which he could benefit from one. For example, he would publicly claim to care for his children, so that he could gain public trust. (Even though behind closed doors he was some sort of a monster to them.
He loved entertainment …of all sorts. Leisure was a necessary tool for him to survive. Without leisure, his mental instabilities would overcome him severely. In fact he himself was an adult trapped in a child’s mind. It seemed as if he never grew up from the traumas that he experienced in his early childhood. Neither did he care to grow up anyway. His traumas and childhood experiences were his excuses for not making anything out of his life. He used these excuses over and over again, to escape any accountability or judgement due because of his failures, and violent attitude towards others.
Although he had chronic health issues since his childhood, he managed to keep a stable physique. It was only his mental health that was never resolved. He loved to appear as a healthy chap. He continuously talked about how he loved to do exercises and out door activities. But in fact, he was lazy to do any of those. He just enjoyed the vision of being able to those activities. It’s like, he used it as a marketing tool, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to deliver the actual product. Which explains why his serious relationships were full of quarrels.
He was attracted to independent females. But as soon as he got close to them, he would start fights, causing chaos in their lives. Perhaps also because he loved to cheat on his partners, with both men and women. He was also fond of serious commitments with foreign women. Perhaps in a bid to conceal his true character. He had plenty of secrets. Deep secrets …about taboo subjects too.
He wished and searched for partners to have commited relationships. But was unable to fulfill those due to his flaky nature. For non serious relationship, he preferred dating older women. Or women with a flair of authority. Perhaps, he was looking for his mother in every woman that he met. Who knows.
The complications did not end with only family and relationship matters. He experienced a lot of barriers with his education too ….particularly the higher studies. It was only after the age of 36 that he was able to obtain his first degree. He was generally excellent in jobs that required manual labour. But he was also a lazy guy, which worked against him. As a resulted he lost many opportunities. His ego and emotions were in a state of constant battle. The ego having a higher power than his emotions. Perhaps, another reason why he had psychopathic tendencies. A natural born narcissist. Yes, he was.
He was also a smooth talker. A born liar. Someone who could easily convince anyone that the colour of a white paper was, indeed, red. Many people fell for it. And he loved every bit of it. To him it was a game. He got even prouder with himself when he beat professional psychologists with his lies. He was deep in it. But also his ego was soon to burn him out …at some point. Only time was a matter of the big delay. He even managed to get his parents and authority figures to lie for him when he got into trouble. Like sheep led to be slayed, they would do as he said. In fact, he could have made a perfect government spy; but he wasted his talents on petty lies …lies that caused conflict and chaos amongst his close circle.
He could have also been a successful investigator, or a credible psychologist. Because he had a gift to get inside the heads of people, and get the information that he wanted. The only confusion in his life was knowing the right methods. Methods that would bring positivity for himself and the society. And the many psychologists that he saw in the course of over 12 years did not do anything to help him reach his positive potential. Which makes one wonder what in the hell do they teach at Psychology School.
His professional work was of somewhat a beautiful gift. Indeed, he had many opportunities, but they were contradicted by his laziness. It’s like he was his number one enemy. Much support was from his friendship and network circles. They helped him get good positions. For example, he worked in engineering-related jobs, and made good money for himself. He also had good mentors, both in his personal and professional life. He had a beautiful path indeed. Everything was handed over to him on a silver plater. But did he know what to do with it? That’s the issue.
His friends were a mixed bunch, ranging from three types of life. He was friends with people of foreign descendent. The meaning of ‘foreign’ being extensive and broad without limitations. He had more male friends than females; authoritative figures formed part of his friendship circle too. Spiritual people were his friends as well. Yet even those who were criminals formed part of his circle. He regularly, and with ease, changed himself to fit each friend and their personality. Which made him a perfect Moorish Gecko. His boundaries depended heavily on what he was benefiting from each person. His boundaries did not care about morals, ethics, or the law. It was all about benefiting himself the maximum way that he could.
The only release that he needed, but ignored, to cure his mental afflictions was a spiritual path. He had declared himself an atheist. Which did not match with his destiny. But with time, he would later realise that his path was calling him towards spirituality ….or he would end up dead. A quick or sudden death even. He also experienced losses and expenses in sudden forms. One minute he would enjoy his wealth, and the next, he would lose almost all of it in an instant. Which added to his mental problems. Leading to lack of sleep, and depression. But likewise, his gains were also sudden …receiving inheritances and tax returns more than any other normal person. Perhaps that’s one of the reasons he worried not about sustaining a professional job. His luck was with him.
But luck runs out …at least for most people.